"I know, and I'll make it up to you, I promise." She didn't want to get rid of things that didn't completely belong to her, but she was sure the alcohol didn't help with how she so often felt. Why was it she could only see clearly now? She always hoped, every single year, that this would be the time she wouldn't slide back, that this time she would be all that she could be.

Mary came over to sit beside him. "Self-pity is no good for any of us. And I know that I treat you with cruelty but the truth that you need to remember, even when it all goes back to the horrible way it was, is that I don't blame you for what happened, Judas." She touched his hand, her eyes on his. "It wasn't your fault."