(no subject)

[macabre-whimsy.insanejournal.com]

Who: Wil and Jacob Grimm
What: Homecoming (Originally posted by Wil)
When: Sunday
Where: Casa de Grimm



Wil paced anxiously. He knew there was something wrong. Ever since Hans had shut himself off, he'd felt anxious, unable to concentrate without Jacob or Hans to speak to if he'd wanted to. Charles was no help, as he kept to himself mostly, and wasn't a particularly forthcoming man at the best of times. Wil had sat in the library, checked his watch obsessively, and drank scotch, then got up and paced and drank scotch, so he was a little bit tipsy and rather agitated by the time he heard a key in the lock. It wasn't until that moment that he realised how much he'd absolutely missed his brother. Despite everything, he was just as fidgety and anxious without Jacob as Jacob was without him. He was just a little better at hiding it. Jacob had been welcoming, of course, but he'd gone to his room quickly to unpack, and Wil had retreated back to the library. And then Louis' oh-so-casual remark, and Jacob's refusal to answer...

Wil got up again, putting aside his laptop, hands clenching on the back of his chair as he considered what to do. Part of him wanted to march out to Hans immediately, regardless of the consequences. At the same time, he felt like his presence would be unwelcome, and that made him uncomfortable. And Jacob was being enigmatic and non-committal.

"Dammit Jacob!" Wil strode to Jacob's room, but he stopped at the doorway, fingers gripping the frame hard. His brother had just spent a holiday overseas with his boyfriend. Was he still the same old Jacob? Is that what this was? Though he would be the same, of course. Wil was thinking crazy thoughts. Still, he waited for Jacob to come to him, and knocked twice sharply.

Jacob, who hardly ever had to tell Wil to come in, rose from his desk chair to open the door. He found a troubled and stormy looking Wilhelm on the other side of it, which is what he had expected.

"Komm, mein schatz," Jacob whispered, pulling his brother into his arms. He could never put into words how much he had missed Wil, and their reunion had been slightly stunted, tainted by what Jacob had just witnessed at Hans'.

"I am so sorry I wasn't here." He meant while Hans was sequestering himself away. He hoped Wil knew.

Wil frowned and let Jacob hold him, then pushed the door closed behind him in case Charles was about. "Tell me what happened. Please! You know something! Don't even try to deny it!" He shook an accusing finger at Jacob's nose. "What did Louis mean about cleaning up blood?"

Jacob let Wil rage at him, because it was better than raging at Hans. He did take a step backwards from The Finger, just because he was afraid it might get crazy and poke him in the eye if left to roam free.

"Wil," Jacob said, his voice lamenting. "I shouldn't know." He couldn't lie to his brother. He didn't want to break his promise to Louis, but the boy had written about the blood himself, and Wil was not an idiot. He could add two and two together. "I can't tell you," Jacob said quickly. "But I don't refuse to answer if you ask. Just ask, Wil. Ask me what you think I know."

Wil made a frustrated growl and covered his face with his hands, then pushed them back through his hair. "Jacob! Um Himmels willen ... Is he hurt? Is Hans hurt? Is he- alive? Why didn't he talk to me?" He shook his head, concern and worry taking control. He should be sharing Jacob's trip and looking at holiday snaps.

"He's alive, Wil," Jacob promised his brother. "You know the things he struggles with. You know them better than I do. I think he just needs some time, and any forced exchange with anyone will only make it worse. You can force yourself into my room and demand answers from me and know nothing bad will come of it, but the same cannot be said for Hans."

Wil pursed his lips, unhappy with the answer. He paced to Jacob's bed and sat down on the edge of it, chin resting on his hand. "I have been so self-absorbed these last weeks... I haven't even noticed... How could I not have noticed this? All I've been saying to him is what you've been doing- I thought he'd want to know-" He swallowed heavily. "Did he do it to himself, Jacob?" he asked quietly, fearing he already knew the answer.

Jacob went to quietly sit beside his brother. He reached out for Wil's hand before quietly confirming, "he did, Wil. But I don't think there was a lead up here. I think it was sudden. Possibly I don't know, I wasn't here, but I don't think, from what Louis said, that there were signs-" Jacob didn't know how else to soothe his brother. "Do you want me to make you some tea?"

Wil shook his head again and let out a breath, his mind whirling. The problem of having a vivid imagination is that it filled in the gaps and he imagined Hans in all sorts of eventualities, having done any of a number of things to himself. Perhaps there weren't signs, but he should have fought Hans harder when he hid himself away. He was supposed to be his boyfriend, for Pete's sake. "Please tell me what he did?" he said, squeezing Jacob's hand.

With Wil now guessing as much as he had, Jacob thought it best he fill in the blanks before Wil decided he had done something far worse than he had. Not that there were many things worse, but Wil's imagination would think of something.

"He hurt his hands," Jacob whispered. "His hands and his back. Louis is taking care of him, Wil. Louis knows how, he has been through this before." He lifted Wil's hand to his lips and he kissed his brother's fingers gently. "I'm so sorry, Wilhelm."

"It's happened before?" Wil sighed. Hans hurting his hands struck him for some reason, and he blinked away tears. He loved Hans' beautiful hands, they were one of the things he liked most about him. He leaned against Jacob, taking comfort from him. He wondered if Hans still wanted him around at all. Louis seemed to have it under control. Good, dependable Louis. Wil felt a pang of jealousy that Louis could have such control over both Hans and Jacob, even as he knew he could take Jacob back with a few words. Perhaps he and Hans weren't meant to have a long shelf-life, but if he didn't have Hans, he knew he'd stew away with jealousy against Louis, and he wanted his brother to be happy. And he did love Hans. He wasn't sure he was quite ready to give it up yet.

"Do you think he'll still want me?" he asked at last, trying to form at least some of his thoughts into words. "I always did wonder that he could take you and I being so close as well as he does."

Jacob took a deep breath at those last words, wondering if Hans had admitted to Wilhelm that he knew the exact extent of their relationship. "Louis said this wasn't about you, Schatz. I asked. How could he not love you? How could anyone not love you? Hans knows about us, Wil. He knows everything."

Wil nodded slowly. "I didn't exactly spell it out, and neither did he, but I figured he knew, or suspected. I guess you told Louis everything?" It wasn't really a question though. He didn't enjoy telling people about their relationship. For one, he didn't want to risk condemnation, and two, it was something private between the two of them that didn't need to be shared.

"No!" Jacob said quickly. "I didn't tell Louis anything! I don't even know if he knows. I wouldn't want to talk to him about it. We're none of his business," Jacob explained rapidly. "Hans worked it out himself. And unless Louis has too, he doesn't know."

That surprised Wil a little, and his looked up at Jacob's face. "Then how do you know Hans knows?" he asked, curious. What did his brother talk about behind his back?

Jacob leaned in to kiss Wil's forehead. "While you were sick, he mentioned he might try getting you to stay in bed by physical means, and I said he could try it, and he stated I must know if it worked or not personally since he knew the extent of our relationship."

Wil's brows raised, and he looked a little bemused. "He's very good at keeping his thoughts to himself," he said, tipping his head up to catch Jacob's lips as he pulled away. "And I'm no closer to figuring out what I should do."

"I think you should probably give him a few days, as hard as it is," Jacob suggested. And he knew it was hard, because if it was him he would already have broken the door down and forced interaction which would have made everything so much worse. "And then when he is ready to see people again, ask him what you can do for him. He is the only one who can really tell you, Wil."

Wil nodded, and flopped back on the bed. "This is ridiculous. I want to make sure he's okay. You got to see him and I docilely acquiesced to his request, against my better judgement. I suppose it'd be a waste of time trying to call. No, it wouldn't help at all."

"I wish I hadn't," Jacob admitted. It was weakness, admitting he was going to be haunted by the vision of Hans bleeding and silent, but he could be weak with Wil. "And I wouldn't want you to have to see him like this either, though I know you wouldn't see it like that. I was just taking Louis home. I wanted to say a proper goodbye and then come home to you, not..." Jacob sighed and then he leaned back beside Wil. "It wasn't exactly the welcome home I wanted. Not that I blame Hans. I...I hurt for him." Jacob didn't often show that kind of empathy for anyone who wasn't Wil.

Wil tilted his head to rest it against Jacob's. "What a sorry pair are we," he said softly. He could sense Jacob's discomfort, and laced his fingers through his brother's. "I still have some scotch left in the library if you'd like it."

Jacob laughed once, though it was completely mirthless. "No, I think scotch would only make this worse today." It was a rare occasion Jacob refused alcohol. "All I need is to be here with you." He gave Wil's hand a squeeze and he smiled sadly. "Next time I decide to go away will you remind me how much I hate being away from you, please?"