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[ancientserpent.insanejournal.com]

Who: Greed, Satan
Where: A high-end furniture store
When: Thursday
What: Shopping!

Satan occasionally liked to drop the Sins and their various personality disorders into situations where those disorders could run wild. It was entertaining to watch and it could occasionally end in pure chaos. It was especially helpful when he could get something out of the deal besides entertainment. Thus, he'd gone shopping with Greed.

Satan was getting tired of having no intact pieces of furniture to lounge menacingly on, so that was the first thing that would have to change. He supposed this was what he got for actually telling people that he was leaving for Hell instead of simply disappearing and letting their paranoia keep them in line.

Satan grabbed the back of Greed's neck and steered him away from the chandelier display ("No. Focus."), deeper into the store. The place was bright and very modern, a sharp contrast between some of the antique furniture on display.

"So, oh acquisitive one, why exactly did Lucifer set your house on fire in the first place?" Satan asked, eyeing a glass coffee table. He could put someone through that very easily, which was a point in its favor.

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[better-than.insanejournal.com]

Greed got excited shopping, his biggest problem being he couldn't stay focused. He was like a dog in heat when he saw so much displayed in front of him. He was practically drooling when Satan pulled him back.

Greed grumbled knowing better than to think this was just a pile up on Satan's store credit. "I pissed in his cornflakes." There was a tighter jerk on his collar making him smile awkwardly at the salesman as they passed. Satan was like the den mother, what he said went. "I told him no and he didn't like it." In his defense he was just being Greed and no one would pit him against Lust in a pissing match.

[ancientserpent.insanejournal.com]

"And what did you tell him no in regards to?" Satan asked patiently. If raising the Antichrist had taught him anything, it was that sometimes he couldn't beat compliance out of people, no matter how much he wanted to. "I try to pay attention to your squabbles, but it all sounds like small children screaming for candy to me."

[better-than.insanejournal.com]

Greed's face contorted to one of a child about to wail. It wasn't like he had done something that wasn't unique to him. Lucifer was sniffing around his Lust. Satan could have done it and he still would have raised a stink. "He insinuated he would have Lust. No one has Lust." It made Greed look foolis, when he was just sinking in with sharp claws. He swallowed though, Satan still had him in a grip that could easily turn into a choke hold. Greed wasn't scared, but he wasn't stupid.

[ancientserpent.insanejournal.com]

Satan rolled his eyes and let go of Greed's neck. "Greed, if Lucifer borrows Lust for a romp in the Hellfire, she'll be back good as new in the morning. He's not one for monogamy."

[better-than.insanejournal.com]

"That's not the point!" It had been that way since the beginning. Lust was his and Glutt's leader but she was theirs, and even then Greed didn't take kindly to Glutt even looking at her with lustful eyes. "And threatening to hurt me doesn't get him on her good side." Greed adjusted his shirt again, one of the nice outfits Lust had bought him.

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Satan glanced upwards, as though he was asking God if he'd ever really done anything to deserve this nonsense. "Telling you to learn to share would just be counterproductive, so instead, I'd advise you to deal with Lucifer the way you would an enormous, grizzly bear that's just broken into your house. Let him have what he wants, and he won't maul you. Start throwing things and screaming, and you really shouldn't be surprised when he throws you through a wall. Do you think this chair would clash with my wallpaper? Answer honestly."

[better-than.insanejournal.com]

Satan's lecture's weren't as flashy (at least not right now), Greed hadn't gotten on his bad side. When the den mother spoke, he had to listen---though Greed was quite the rebellious sort. "At least I bounce back," Greed snorted throwing his nose in the air.

He turned looking at the chair. "You still have wallpaper?" he looked a little surprised. "I think you need to go more bold." Greed was flashy. He pointed to a bright red colored sofa. "Are you going for functionality or the visual," his eyes jumped to another sofa plopping down on it and making himself comfortable. One always had to test the merchandise.

[ancientserpent.insanejournal.com]

"And one day you won't, because it won't just be your things on fire," Satan said calmly, leaning over the back of the couch to stare down at Greed. "Lucifer fought the forces of Heaven, and came away more or less unscathed. You don't stand a chance."

Satan turned his attention to the couch. "I will have wallpaper. And I'm decorating my house, not a brothel."

[better-than.insanejournal.com]

"Charred and extra crispy right?" it seemed to be Lucy's calling card. Greed felt Satan's eyes on him, a snake coiled and ready to strike in the most polite way possible. "Just going to boil me or poke me with flames?" Lame. If he went down at least make it exciting.

"What's wrong with red? It's a nice color." He patted the seat, pushing his hand into the cushion, testing it's firmness.

[ancientserpent.insanejournal.com]

"Don't say I didn't warn you if you continue your little pissing match with him," Satan said, shrugging and turning away from Greed. "And you've been spending too much time with Lust, that couch is a shade that could be charitably called 'harlot.'"

He considered for a moment. "You're going to get it, aren't you?"

[better-than.insanejournal.com]

Greed had no plans to infuriate Lucifer or Satan for that matter, but to be flat honest he was more nervous around Lust than either of them when she was in a vindictive mood.

"This? No. It's..." he bounced on it. It didn't squeak, it was comfortable. He stretched out on it, squirming around until he could get comfortable. "I like it..." he said with a big white-toothed smile.

[ancientserpent.insanejournal.com]

"I am completely unsurprised," Satan said. He circled the couch and moseyed over to the selection of black leather chairs. Which ones would be most functional if he wanted to tie someone to it? Decisions, decisions.

[better-than.insanejournal.com]

Greed had got comfortable until an associate asked if he needed help. She was so polite it was disgusting. Greed hopped up and down with his butt on the cushion like a kid. "I want this one!" He grinned getting up noticing that Satan had wandered to a new location. He ran a hand over the leather chair, trying it as well. "You should get these."

[ancientserpent.insanejournal.com]

Satan smirked a little upon noticing Greed antagonizing the saleswoman. Some things were constant.

"I feel like they would hold up against a considerable amount of struggling if I tied someone to them," Satan said, nodding in approval.

[better-than.insanejournal.com]

Greed stopped a moment and pondered that statement, suddenly still in his seat. His hands paused from rubbing the arms down.

"You're not tying me up are you?" He had to wonder because Satan said it so casually.

He looked back over to his red couch. "Are you buying me that?" He asked cheekily. He looked like a five year old that was asking nicely before kicking up a tantrum.

[ancientserpent.insanejournal.com]

"No and yes," Satan said, nodding decisively. These chairs would work. "I would chain you to the wall, silly boy. And yes, I'll buy you your harlot couch. Are you planning to molest Lust on it?"

[better-than.insanejournal.com]

"Oh, yeah," he spoke nonchalantly, "because walls are so much more comfortable than chairs. Gosh," he slapped his forehead. "What was I thinking?"

He fisted the air. "Yus!" Which answered both Satan's question and showed his excitement.

[ancientserpent.insanejournal.com]

"Torture is only supposed to be fun for one of the parties involved," Satan said, reaching out to pat Greed on the head like an amusing puppy. "And you're like a horny high schooler, dear God."

[better-than.insanejournal.com]

"I beg to differ. It's all in how you assess the situation." Greed shook his finger. "Mmmhmm." Though if Satan and Lucifer got a hold of him, he might be saying a prayer. Greed smiled at the head pat. If he'd had a tail it would have been wagging. He threw his hands out. "Can you blame me?" It was Lust.

[ancientserpent.insanejournal.com]

Satan tsked. "You Sins. It's like a powder keg. Just try not to irritate Lucifer so much that he smashes one of Hell's circles. Or irritate me that much, but that goes without saying."

[better-than.insanejournal.com]

Greed gave him a nod, because well, it was Satan. Den mother said to do it. Plus, the old guy was buying him a couch, he couldn't hold too much complaint. "Is that why you didn't put on your pretty face for me?" he asked circling a finger over the leather chair arm.