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[gospel-of-mary.insanejournal.com]

WHO: Mary & Judas
WHEN: Wednesday night
WHERE: Mary's place
WHAT: A scene either for them yelling at each other... or being surprisingly sweet... or having sex... or a bit of all of that.
WARNINGS: Let's veer on the safe side and go go with fucked up angry foreplay/attempted rape

When Mary was with the mortals that had become her 'congregation' she felt like she had a purpose, like she was something that He could be proud of. But that feeling always managed to seep out of her and by a few hours later she felt like a bitter failure once more. Scrubbing herself clean in the shower, Mary was regretting telling Judas to come over, and regretting letting her guard down around him that afternoon. But it was done now and she didn't have a phone to call him even if she had his number.

It was freezing tonight and coming out of the bathroom Mary could see her breath and her skin prickled with goosebumps. She found warm clothes and towel-dried her hair, wishing for a heater or a fire or something. Instead she downed a few shots of bourbon, finishing off the bottle, and had a look through her cupboards for something to eat. It was pretty bare though.

Hearing the groaning of metal that announced someone climbing the fire-escape, Mary walked over and pulled open the window. Shoving her head out she looked down to climbing Judas and asked, "you got any cash?"

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Mary grabbed his wrist as he went to move away, stopping him from going very far. She met Judas' eye but didn't move from where she was, nor did she pull him any closer. There was a long beat and then, unsure of what her purpose had been, Mary uncurled her fingers from his wrist and looked back out the window and down onto the street, picking up her mug.

"Does the virgin pay for your whores?" Mary scoffed. "Seems a little hypocritical."

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"I make a little money of my own," Judas said, stroking his own fingers over his wrist where her hand had been. He came back and stood behind her, looking out also, only gently touching her. "I deal a little, do the books for a couple of guys I know. Under the table, of course, but I'm good with money."

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"You always were," Mary said, and it was unclear whether her words were compliment or insult or something of both. She shifted backwards just enough that she was pressing against him, moving her arse slowly. "Money's always been your thing."

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Judas slid one hand to rest on her hip, holding his mug with the other. "What can I say, I'm a good accountant," he replied, knowing what she was thinking of. What she was always thinking of.

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Letting out a heavy breath, Mary pressed a little harder back against him. "Yes," she agreed, her voice tight and catching as she focused on the feeling of him against her. "We all have our skills, don't we?"

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Judas nodded, his hand sliding around to the front of her jeans and stroking down between her legs. "Some are better than others," he said, voice a little husky, hips moving slightly in a rhythmical motion.

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Mary bit down on her lip gently, giving a slight shudder against him at the sudden touch she hadn't been expecting. "And yet some are just more memorable," she replied, bracing herself more firmly on the windowsill. She couldn't help goading him. Somehow it made this better if she remembered the reasons she was angry at him, at what he'd done to them.

Mary moved one hand behind her now, wrapping her fingers in the material of Judas' trousers so that he was harder pulled to body her as she rocked against him. "How many silver pieces for me, Judas?"

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Judas' face twisted into a snarl and he rammed his hips against her, hard, jolting her body against the window frame. "Fuck you," he hissed, gulping down the last of his gin and throwing the mug on the floor. The handle snapped off with a tinkle of ceramic. "Shut the fuck up. Cunt." He bared his teeth and slammed against her again. "How many times have you taken a cock and wished it was his?"

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Mary gave a half shriek as she hit the wooden frame and winced, setting her jaw and hissing through her teeth.

Every. Fucking. Time.

That was, of course, the answer to his stupid question, and she hated him for asking it, even though she knew she'd started this. "Get the fuck off me!" Mary screeched.

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"Why should I?" Judas gripped her hips and leaned in close over her back. "You dig and dig at me every fucking time, Magdalene. Neither of us can change anything, we just go round and round. I don't know what you fucking want from me that I haven't already given. Two-faced whore." One hand went back between her legs, pulling her up to meet him, scrabbling to undo the fly of her jeans.

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"I said," Mary snapped, trying to reach around and shove him off her, "get the fuck off me, you bastard!" It turned out though, that Judas was stronger than she was and although she was fighting against him, he was going to win these. "You dirty fucking betraying sleezebag!" she screamed at him. "You betray everyone!"

"Hey lady, do you need cops??"

The voice came from down below on the street, from the pizza delivery man standing in the alleyway and looking up at the two of them with a worried look on his face.

Mary took the opportunity of the distraction to shove Judas off her.

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Judas let go as Mary shoved him, and he landed hard on the floor, breathing hard. His cock was painfully hard in his trousers, and he groaned, running his hands down his face. "fuuuuck," he moaned, rolling onto all fours and out of Mary's immediate reach before she decided to hurt him some more. He needed more drink, that's what he needed. This time he just gulped it out of the bottle.

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Mary glared at him for a moment, zipping up her jeans and pulling her strap back up onto her shoulder. Then she turned from him and climbed down the fire-escape to collect the pizza, the cold air no problem on her skin now.

She was pretty sure the conversation with the pizza man was loud enough for Judas to hear, at least parts of it anyway. Mary assured him that it was just her boyfriend and they'd both had a few too many drinks and, no, he wasn't hurting her, they were just fucking around, this was the sort of thing they did and who the fuck was he to judge someone else's lifestyle? No, she didn't need the police. No, she wasn't in any danger.

Mary felt shitty that she didn't even have a tip to give him tonight.

Once he was gone Mary climbed back up the fire escape, balancing the pizza however she could until she reached her window. She dropped the box onto the floor of her apartment with a heavy slapping sound and then sat there in the window, taking deep breaths.

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Judas looked up at her, feeling suddenly guilty. He tried to rationalise it by telling himself that Mary treated him like shit all the time, but he still dropped his gaze and looked away, taking another pull on the bottle.

"Sorry," he muttered, reaching for the pizza box.

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"What," Mary said coldly, crossing her arms, "you think you're the first guy to try it out?" She picked up her mug of gin from where it had fallen on the floor and drained the dregs that hadn't been spilled.

She walked across the room - picking up his broken mug as she went - and put them both into the sink.

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Judas shrugged a shoulder and rammed a slice of pizza in his mouth. "Sometimes you like it when it's like that," he said, glancing at her. He still wanted her though. He always wanted her.

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"There a slight difference between liking it rough," Mary said, turning to face him with her arms crossed, "and screaming at you to stop." She walked over towards him though, sitting down on the floor across from him, the pizza in the middle of them. Her strap kept falling off her shoulder now and it was making her furious, because it was a stupid little strap and yet another thing in her life she had no damn control over.

She picked up a piece of pizza, pulling a slice of salami off the top and eating it. "Sometimes I go to far," she admitted once she swallowed it. Her voice was very quiet.

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Judas sniffed and scratched his nose. He fidgeted for a minute or two, before saying, "So do I," and grabbing a second slice of pizza. "I wish I could undo everything." His mind flicked to her jeans and he cleared his throat quickly, taking a bite of pizza to give his mouth something to do.

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"Me too," Mary said, looking at her pizza instead of eating it. She'd lost her appetite all of a sudden and put the piece back down again, whipping her hands clean.

"I meant what I said today." She wasn't looking at him when she said it. "I do remember hearing you preaching back that, and how it made me feel. I remember how He talked about you."

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He glanced at her, then looked away. "Those things get crowded out by what came after. I remember you, though. I remember your devotion." He remembered how infatuated she had become with Him. Judas had always been a little jealous that He could inspire that in people. He'd been one of those himself, once. Before.

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"Devotion," Mary agreed quietly. "And now look at us." She wanted to ask him why he'd done it, but she couldn't manage to get the words out. Instead she sighed and leaned back against the side of the bed behind her.

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Judas sighed and moved to lean against the bed near to her. "Just kinda fucked everything up," he said, offering Mary a bite of his slice of pizza.

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Mary looked at his pizza and shook her head. She knew what she wanted right now and it was comfort - that was something that didn't come from food. For Mary only one thing brought her comfort.

So she leaned over and kissed him softly, one hand sliding up into his hair.