(no subject)

[thomas_kemp]

WHO: Thomas Kemp, open to Jamie Kemp but can stand alone
WHAT: Just sadnesses
WHEN: Tuesday evening
WHERE: His apartment



Being silly on the internet with his handy web-enabled phone was the one solace Thomas had had during work on Tuesday. He had found yet more self-help pamphlets in his pigeonhole and it seemed now whomever was taking it upon themselves to decide his son was somehow flawed had also decided Thomas himself needed help. The pamphlets were for dealing with grief. Grief. The people who wanted to de-gay his son now thought he was suffering grief because Jamie wasn't interested in women?

He had shredded the pamphlets immediately and felt a moment of gratification afterwards. It was short-lived. Thomas was already fairly sure he didn't want to continue working with people who acted like this upon hearing the son of one of their co-workers was gay. It was ridiculous and uncomfortable and he didn't want to continue spending time there and keeping such a big thing from his son while at home. Thomas was proud of Jamie and he loved him for who he was. His son's sexuality hardly ever came up, it was just who he was. He firmly believed defining people who their sexuality was a horrible thing to do and Thomas didn't want to be anywhere near it.

Thomas avoided the staff room all day and by the time he finally arrived home after five, he was ravenous. He was going to have to find somewhere off campus to eat the next day, because waiting until home time wasn't particularly pleasant. He felt too exhausted to focus on cooking anything as well, which was distinctly unhelpful.

He grabbed an apple on his way through the kitchen and once in his bedroom, Thomas toed out of his shoes. He shed his coat as well and then, abandoning the apple on the nightstand completely, he fell backwards onto his bed and let out a rather loud and groaning sigh.

Finding jobs was difficult. Not screaming at his co-workers for being demented was also difficult. Being an adult was hard and Thomas was pretty sure he was ready to give it up. It was one of those rare times he really wished he had a partner he could talk to. He knew his family was there for him and Victor was proving himself to be a wonderful new friend, but it wasn't the same. If Thomas had someone in his life, they could talk something like this out. They could make decisions together. But like always, Thomas had to figure this out by himself.

It sort of made him want to cry. Probably the lack of anything in his stomach didn't help that.

With another groan up to his ceiling, he draped his arm over his face. His bed was comfortable at least, and a handy place to lie, flung and upset. He knew he should probably check to see if Jamie was home and find something for their dinner, but a tiny part of him wanted to ignore any and all responsibilities and stay right where he was. He was lonely, frustrated and worried and wasn't it just easier to stay in bed, curled in a ball?

Thomas knew which part of him would win eventually. He would take care of his son and himself because pouting would achieve nothing. He just wanted a few moments to indulge the childish part of himself he had had to abandon well before it's time.

Comments

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

Jamie was back in his room, the tip of his pencil skimming over a sketchpad. He was starting to feel better now that he was sleeping more, and that his portfolio was so close to complete, he could taste it. He had his music on, but not loud enough that it drowned out the apartment door opening and closing. That meant his dad was home, and once he finished this section of his sketch, he'd go and say hello.

That took a bit longer than he'd planned, but eventually, he stood up and stretched, tucking his pencil behind his ear and heading for his father's room. He knocked softly, poking his head inside, eyes shut, the way his father always did when he came in. "Hey," he said. "What's up, how was your day?"

[thomas_kemp]

Thomas turned his head and he half-smiled at the way Jamie entered the room. "You're safe to look," he said, though he didn't move from his spot, flopped on the bed. "It wasn't the best day I have ever had ever. What about you?"

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

Jamie opened his eyes. "Not terrible," he said. "The last two pieces for my portfolio are all but done, so that's good. And I don't feel like I'm running on fumes anymore."

"You want to talk about it?" he asked. "Or maybe you should just sleep, you look beat."

[thomas_kemp]

Even with everything he was dealing with, it was really good to hear Jamie was doing well with his portfolio. He just wanted his son to be happy.

Which was why he had no intention of telling Jamie what was going on at work. There was no reason for his son to know. "I'm glad you feel better, kiddo. Proud of you." He took another deep breath. "I should eat something. I skipped lunch. I had delusions of the apple kind," he said, pointing at the uneaten apple on his nightstand, "but it just seemed like so much work."

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

Jamie smiled. "Thanks, Dad," he said. "Once it's in and I'm done, I'll be able to relax more, because then it's really out of my hands."

"Yes, you should definitely eat something," he agreed. "Come on, I think there's sandwich things in the fridge, and that spicy mustard that's really awesome."

[thomas_kemp]

Thomas dragged himself into a sitting position with a groan. "It was the spicy mustard that cinched it, I love that stuff. James?" Thomas didn't usually call Jamie his slightly more formal nickname unless he was feeling a bit serious and melancholy. "I might be looking for a new job soon, but it's going to be okay, alright?"

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

"Right?!" Jamie agreed. "It's delicious, let us slather it on huge sandwiches."

He stopped halfway out the door and turned to look back at his father. "Uhm, OK," he said. "I thought you liked that school, but if you think that's the best thing to do."

[thomas_kemp]

Thomas tried to give Jamie a reassuring, though tired, smile. "It's becoming rapidly less pleasant by the day. Co-workers who are not all that nice, actually. I am having coffee with Clea on Thursday. Do you remember her? I did my teaching rounds with her and then she let me stay on and help out for pay because apparently I looked a bit pitiful while I was studying. It was a while ago now though. I might see if she has a position at her school." It was an all-girls boarding school and very different from his current job, but he had enjoyed his teaching rounds there very much.

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

Jamie scrunched up his eyes, trying to remember. "Hmm...I think so? She smiled a lot, at least, I think that was her." He nodded as his father explained his plans. "If you think it'll be better, I say go for it."

[thomas_kemp]

"She certainly smiles a lot. It will be better for my mental state and it will mean I don't end up punching someone in the face and being arrested," Thomas breathed out. He wasn't a violent person at all, and chances were even if he tried to punch someone, he would end up falling over or punching himself instead. "It would be better for my stomach too. I skipped lunch so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. I hid in the library like a grown-up."

He opened the fridge and basically emptied it of sandwich ingredients. He was going to make a sandwich feast.

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

"I think it would be best if you didn't get arrested," Jamie agreed, grabbing a stool, tucking one leg under himself as he sat down. "But yeah, I remember her." He pulled two slices of bread toward him, and whatever meat and cheese he could reach, and started assembling his own sandwich.

"Hiding in the library is a time-honored method of avoiding people you don't want to talk to," Jamie went on. "It's always worked for me, at any rate."

[thomas_kemp]

Thomas nodded and he went about assembling his sandwich in silence. Halfway through he gave up and he went to wrap his arms around Jamie. Thomas had always been quite an affectionate father, since he knew he was essentially Jamie's mother and father. This hug was more for his own benefit, however. He leaned down and kissed his son's hair and then he sighed.

"You know I think you're perfect, right?"

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

Jamie paused between piling on salami and provolone cheese, and hugged his father back. "Keep telling me that, I'm gonna get a big head," he joked. "You OK, Dad?"

[thomas_kemp]

Thomas smiled a little sadly and then he gave his son a squeeze before moving back to his sandwich making. "I'll be alright. Just a bit glum. Dealing with rude people and feeling alone. It'll pass."

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

Jamie watched his father closely for a moment, but couldn't really think of anything to say to that. He finally settled on, "People really suck sometimes." He wanted his father to be happy, but doing much about it wasn't really in his power.

[thomas_kemp]

He looked over and smiled lightly at his son before finishing up his sandwich. "Sometimes they do. Maybe I should call in sick tomorrow." Thomas never called in sick. He had so many sick days saved up it was slightly ridiculous. "Just doing nothing sounds nice."