(no subject)

[thomas_kemp]

WHO: Thomas and Jamie Kemp
WHAT: Rapidly taking over our hearts and heads A serious conversation
WHEN: ...what the fuck day is it? Tuesday?
WHERE: Hospital, then mostly their place
WARNINGS: Sickness and stuff



With the day of testing over, Thomas headed out into the waiting room to fetch his son. Jamie could be with him for some of it, but he had to sit out while they stuck Thomas into a huge tube and x-rayed his head.

He wasn't finished with the tests, but today had come with some interesting news. He had also been counselled on what to look for and more about what the disease meant and the more he learned, the more he knew he really needed to have a conversation with Jamie about the future. It wasn't going to be pleasant at all, and he hated that it was necessary, but there was no getting around it.

Thomas had worked so hard to preserve Jamie's childhood and make it a happy one despite their circumstances. And now it looked like the poor boy might just have to mature well before his time any way. Sure he was eighteen, but he was about to go off to college and that should mean parties and late night study sessions and dating and more parties. What it shouldn't mean was taking care of his father in the event that he degenerated rapidly. But it was in the cards now.

Like father, like son.

Thomas entered the waiting room, his jacket slung over his shoulder. He smiled as best he could and he went to go collapse into the chair beside Jamie, just for a moment. "Your father is currently radioactive," he said lightly. "With dyed, lizard blood. ...because it looked green, not...not because they actually injected me with lizard blood." He was rambling.

Comments

That first part of the 'what' is so flipping accurate

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

Jamie had sat in the waiting room, idly sketching on a pad he'd found on the table next to him. It was one drug companies gave to doctors, and thus pretty small, but he was managing. He was mostly sketching monster ideas for Theseus' storyboard, but he stopped when his dad came out.

"Maybe you'll develop superpowers," he joked, trying to preserve the lightness of the mood. "Turn into Godzilla at the full moon, or something. How are you feeling?"

I KNOW, RIGHT?

[thomas_kemp]

Thomas chuckled and he shrugged. "I think you have to have an advanced degree these days to be a super villain. Doctor Octopus. Doctor Connors. ...more doctors." He shrugged. "I feel like a pin cushion, but I avoided fainting, so there's something. They've let me go for the day though. Feel like grabbing some take out on the way home?" They had been here for hours with only a vending machine and crappy cafeteria food.

THEY'RE IN OUR BRAINS

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

"Xavier was a professor, Peter Parker was just a kid," Jamie said. "Granted, one wasn't radioactive and neither are super villians, but still. Advanced degree not always required."

"It's probably a good thing you didn't faint, yes," Jamie agreed. "And yes, take out sounds awesome, as does getting out of this chair. I tried walking around for a bit, one of the people in here kept giving me the evil eye." He stood up and stretched, sticking the pad in his pocket.

Sucking the lives out of all the children in Salem! ...wait, that's Hocus Pocus.

[thomas_kemp]

"Well, good points on both accounts," Thomas smiled.

Thomas arched his eyebrows at that and then he shook his head. "How accommodating of them," he muttered, but he stood and patted Jamie's shoulder before heading towards the parking garage. "What are you in the mood for? Chinese? Hamburgers? Anything?" If he was about to make Jamie said, he might as well get to eat something he wanted first.

You know, I've never actually seen that movie. I keep meaning too, though.

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

"Oh, none of the hospital staff, one of the people waiting. It's like, just because you're content to sit and play on your phone, doesn't mean my butt isn't falling asleep. I'm sure you can deal."

"Chinese sounds good," he said. "Pork fried rice, om nom nom."

:O You must :D

[thomas_kemp]

Thomas laughed at that and he pulled Jamie in for a one-armed hug as they walked. "Chinese it is. Hopefully your ass will be awake by the time we get home!"

Their order was called into their favourite Chinese take-away restaurant and Thomas ran in to pick it up because it was ready and waiting for them. Once they got home he fetched some forks and napkins in case the chopsticks provided were a bit unwieldy.

He dug into his sweet and sour chicken with gusto before chewing on his lip a little. "I may have nefarious reasons for getting take out and forcing you to sit here with me. I think we should probably talk about a few things."

I shall see if Netflix has it! :D

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

"Fingers crossed," Jamie laughed, hugging his father in return before getting in the car.

Once they were home, he skipped the chopsticks altogether (because he was terrible with them), and just dove straight in with a fork. It was so much better than hospital vending machine food, and he said as much.

"Yes, because sitting here eating dinner with you is something I have to be forced to do," he said with a smile. "But I figured it might be something like that. What's up?"

It is super silly :D

[thomas_kemp]

"Oh you know what I mean," Thomas said fondly. They had dinner together on most days though, so Jamie did have a point. "I'm just nervous. Uhm...okay so-" Thomas put his fork down and he rubbed at his eye tiredly. "It's probably a good idea to talk about the future. And I know you probably don't want to, and believe me, I don't either. But it needs to happen." Probably best to get it out of the way.

I do like silly :D

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

Jamie paused, his fork halfway to his mouth. He finished the bite before saying, "Oh. Alright. If...if you think we should. What sorts of things did you want to talk about?" His dad was right, he didn't really want to have this conversation. But they couldn't put it off forever.

[thomas_kemp]

Thomas sniffed a bit and then he forced another bite of food into his mouth before finally talking.

"Well the geneticist was trying to explain to me that sometimes the age the disease starts to show symptoms depends on how many times a certain thing is repeated. God, I wish I finished high school biology right now. Uhm. The more the thing is repeated, it usually means the symptoms occur earlier. If that makes sense? Dad's test showed less...repeaty things. And mine is similar." He actually had more CAG repeats than his father did, but he wasn't going to say that explicitly. "Which means if the symptoms haven't started, it could be a while before they do."

It was nice to know. It was a little bit of hope mixed in with a whole lot of shit. It explained why his father's symptoms hadn't shown up until he was over 55 when they usually started occurring in affected people's mid-thirties. Maybe he had longer to live than he had first feared.

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

"But that's good, right?" Jamie said. "I mean, Grandpa's what...56? 57? If your test was like his, maybe that means it'll be for you like it was for him. Which is better than you first thought, right?"

[thomas_kemp]

"It's great," he said with a smile. "It's not for sure though, since I think she said 30% of cases don't correspond to the amount of...thingys. But...it could mean I'll stick around longer." He really hoped so. He had been assuming his symptoms would start in the next few years if they hadn't already. Some people with fewer repeated CAGs remained symptomless their entire lives because they died before the disease had a chance to activate. It was a glimmer of hope. "Of course I haven't been declared symptomless yet, but the brain scan was all positive."

Thomas sighed and he took another bite of food. "All that being said...I still have to think about the future. I have an appointment to go in next week to erm...write up a will."

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

"So far, all of that sounds like pretty good news," Jamie said, taking one of the crab rangoons. "Because yes, Dad sticking around longer is what we're all hoping for."

That sentence made him feel cold all over, and he had to work a little to swallow his mouthful. "Already?" he asked. "I mean, I know it's a good idea to have one, I just...hate what they mean, you know?"

[thomas_kemp]

"It's just to have it done with," he said, trying to soothe Jamie. "I also need to make arrangements for- There's not getting around it. Regardless of when it happens, eventually the symptoms will start and the doctors have been informing me what to look out for. Changes in mood or personality or coordination, which let's be honest, isn't all that great to begin with." He tried to smile gently.

"They also said, uhm...sometimes after the symptoms progress, people can get...aggressive. They get confused and they lash out. And I need to say now while I'm still me, that I would never, ever hurt you on purpose." He had never even spanked Jamie, opting instead for time outs when discipline had been necessary. "And if I ever do, I'm so sorry. That- The idea I might is kind of the scariest thing to me right now."

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

Jamie swallowed hard again. "That means I'll have to cancel your Julliard audition," he said, trying for levity but knowing he wasn't doing so well. "What, uhm...what did they tell you you needed to be on the lookout for?"

"I know you wouldn't," Jamie said quietly. "I know that. I honestly can't picture you as aggressive, it's hard to even think it."

[thomas_kemp]

"I did so want to be a prima ballerina," he said, smiling gently at his son. He was trying so hard, bless him. "They said I might get confused. Small things at first like getting names wrong or...putting shoes in the oven, things like that. I hope I don't lash out. It's upsetting to think about it."

He took a breath and continued. There was so much more still to cover. "I also need to choose a medical proxy who can make decision. My mother said she would be glad to do it, but she might have her hands full with my father and to be honest-" He sighed again, "Jamie, I feel like you should be the one to decide when I can't any more. You're the most important person in my life. It's a big responsibility though, and you don't have to say yes. You can think about it for a little while if you need to."

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

"I'd even gotten you the pointe shoes, and everything," Jamie said around an egg roll. He really was still paying attention, but he was still hungry, too. "So, little things that get progressively worse?" he asked. "And I hope you don't either."

Jamie felt touched that his father would ask him to take on such a huge part of his medical care, but a bit scared, too. "No, Dad, I can do it," he said, after the silence had stretched between them. "I mean, as long as the doctors can explain to me what needs to be done, and stuff like that."

[thomas_kemp]

"Yes, exactly. Little things. If you notice anything, we can get it checked out."

Thomas took another bite of his food and then he smiled at Jamie. "Jamie...thank you," he said, with feeling. "They'll explain and you will be the only one who can make decisions. Because- Because there will be a point where I won't be able to take care of myself. And I'm really sorry for that. I don't want to be a burden."

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

Jamie nodded. "OK. I'll keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary."

It was a lot of responsibility, and Jamie felt his throat go a little dry. But hopefully, by the time it became necessary for him to actually make decisions, he'd be older and (hopefully) a bit wiser. "Of course, Dad," he said. "But you're not a burden, OK? We'll figure this out."

[thomas_kemp]

"Well...you might think differently when-" He hardly wanted to talk about feeding and bathing and all the rest of it. "I also wanted to say...look, I don't know when this is all going to happen, but you're going to have your own life. And I hardly want you to put that aside for me. And when the time comes and I can't take care of myself, I don't want you to feel guilty for hiring a nurse or putting me in a nursing home." He needed Jamie to know now that he understood. "And both Kat and Victor have already said if money is an issue, they are willing to help."

[flare-star.insanejournal.com]

"Dad, no," Jamie said. "You're part of my life, OK? I'm not setting aside anything to help take care of you. Sure, maybe there'll come a time where I have to hire a nurse because I can't be here all the time, or you need shots and I can't legally give them to you, or something. But you are not a burden, and that's also way down the road. I'm not just going to disappear and leave you with some nurse or in some home, OK? That's not going to happen."

[thomas_kemp]

"James..." Thomas didn't know what to say, so he just moved over to pull Jamie into a hug. "Do you know how proud I am of you? You're just...the best thing I have ever done with my life." His son was eighteen years old and accepting the responsibility for someone else. He knew a little bit about that. And hopefully it would be years in the future, but there was no certainty. It made Thomas feel much safer, though he did worry for Jamie's sake.