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[chink-in-armor.insanejournal.com]

Who: Achilles and Polyxena
When: Monday afternoon
What: Afternoon dates, memorial looking and PTSD episodes
Where: New York Vietnam Veterans Memorial

Achilles had spent all this time enveloped into his thoughts and stories of the past. Not only his own but of the men he served with. The project that had taken him from a screenplay to a book was near complete. Something else he could be proud of. Why then in the midst of such an accomplishment did he feel a tether cut itself from the fabric he'd woven? It was a tapestry that had a wink link. His chink in armor that would eventually destroy himself or those around him. He was living in this future now, trying to break free of everything else---but the past made the man, and the men of the world today would never let him move on from it. The best he could do was try to find some peace within.

There wasn't a rain cloud in the sky as he watched silently in the crowd for the girl who had turned his world into something more bearable. It wasn't Briseis this time that he clung to. It was the girl he asked for to make things right. To soothe his mind and the trail of blood he left behind him. He held onto her hand tightly now and took her with him.

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[manyxenas.insanejournal.com]

Achilles had asked her to meet him and the memorial and she was more than happy to do so. When he took her hand she smiled up at him, trying to be reassuring. She knew writing would have brought up all sorts of horrible memories and now he was here. It had to be hard.

"Hi there," she said, leaning up to kiss him.

[chink-in-armor.insanejournal.com]

They had been spending more time together since these long months. She was a good distraction when he was too heavily into his thoughts. A voice of reason like a young girl he'd known before had been. Polyxena was his new Briseis in so many ways, it was hard to imagine anything happening to her now. She was as much his protector as he was of her.

He returned her kiss softly, his hand grazing her cheek in a kind response. The fact that she came anytime he called, it meant he could keep his heart open for her. He gave her another soft kiss as a silent thank you.

[manyxenas.insanejournal.com]

Polyxena smiled and she went to stand beside him. "How are you?" she asked softly. He looked melancholy.

[chink-in-armor.insanejournal.com]

"Trying to keep my thoughts from running away with me." She was there now, she could offer him a distraction, a calmness that he didn't have anymore when she wasn't around. He liked having her here. They'd grown together these last months. It had turned into a very beautiful thing.

[manyxenas.insanejournal.com]

"Tell me what you're thinking," she suggested, because it was easier to help him if he shared.

[chink-in-armor.insanejournal.com]

"Of things better left in the past." He took a deep breath but as he held her gaze he felt that he needed to air out those thoughts. She had taught him that it was better than keeping things unsaid. "I've been thinking of my father."

[manyxenas.insanejournal.com]

Polyxena had never known his father. "What about him?" she asked, taking his hands so he would know she was there. She wanted to ground him in this reality.

[chink-in-armor.insanejournal.com]

"I know so little of him. I've never held a kind thought about him either." It was not what most men grew to think of their fathers. Peleus had done nothing hateful to him other than being an absent figure. He was a name. He had a reputation, but his son had succeeded him. "He's nothing more than a name to me." It was why Achilles had grown so close to his comrades. Patroclus, Odysseus, Ajax, and many more over the centuries. He had no father figure. "It's why I failed with my own son." Neopotolemus had made a ghost of an appearance only to disappear again. Achilles in some way had always wanted to build some sort of relationship for where he and his own father had failed. He'd never been given the chance to be a father. It was probably left better that way. But, as Memorial Day approached in a few weeks, he contemplated on the what could have been's instead of what was the here and now, or what had already passed.

[manyxenas.insanejournal.com]

"Do you think you would have been the same man had he been there for you?" she asked, rather intelligently. It made sense to want something you never had, but it some things would change every single second of you life. She loved him the way he was.

[chink-in-armor.insanejournal.com]

"I do not know the answer to that. I may have been." Achilles would always regret his decisions even if at the time he made them he believed in them firmly. It was the aftermath that always steamrolled him. "I may have been a better man. Or I may have been better than he ever was." He wouldn't know. He may never.

[manyxenas.insanejournal.com]

Cutting straight to the point she said, "I wouldn't want you to be anyone but who you are." She leaned up to kiss him gently.

[chink-in-armor.insanejournal.com]

"I've taken so much from you already." Grief followed him in any shape or form. Achilles hung onto it, it was written in his name. There was happiness here though, with her. She offered so much ease to the pain. His new Briseis in the modern world. He almost wondered if this was nothing more than a dream that he always reached for but never got to hang onto for long. "You, sweet, sweet girl," he whispered softly.

[manyxenas.insanejournal.com]

Polyxena gave him an easy smile, "that's in the past, Achilles. Now you give me so much."

[chink-in-armor.insanejournal.com]

"No," he shook his head, his arm wrapping around her waist so her side was snug against him. "You are the one that gives me peace once again." It was as if time stood still with Polyxena there. He could visualize a life he'd never gotten to have. Ideas of hope, family, love---it wasn't just a faded thought. It was a mountain to climb, but he took each step.

Behind them a group of school kids rounded around the corner, cutting up and dragging their feet as they waited for their history teacher to show.

[manyxenas.insanejournal.com]

Polyxena figured the argument over who gave who what could go on forever, so she just nodded and accepted his words. She glanced aside to the kids as they acted ridiculous and she turned back to Achilles. "Ah, youth."

[chink-in-armor.insanejournal.com]

The argument was over for now at least. Achilles would always feel guilt towards the consequences of his actions after the deeds had been done. Past or not. But Polyxena was helping him each day with overcoming the past as best as a warrior like him could.

The youth were at first cut up, then their teacher appeared and they straightened up. A few boys strayed behind, determined to be on their own for what they called a 'boring' trip. They started to look over some of the names of the men listed in the memorial as the teacher some distance away started to talk about the Vietnam War as pertaining to their lesson. The boys snickered again. "God these names are horrible," they laughed showing their disrespect.

[manyxenas.insanejournal.com]

Polyxena reached out to take Achilles' hand in an attempt to discourage him from lashing out at the school boys. Sure they were being little shits, but school boys often were. "It's okay," she whispered to him. "They'll learn."

[chink-in-armor.insanejournal.com]

Youth would never learn. He'd been them once, but disrespect of those that protected their country and what they believed in was not acceptable. He thought to himself that now would not be the time to make a scene, but if the children continued he would have to speak in the dead men's defense.

He let her hold his hand without a word, but the squeeze he gave suggested that he would only tolerate so much.

[manyxenas.insanejournal.com]

Ployxena understood the sign and with that she tried to pull Achilles away from the memorial. "We can get a coffee and come back when they're gone."

[chink-in-armor.insanejournal.com]

It was a struggle to step away because something needed to be said. No, demanded be said. The world today did not know what it meant to lay down your life for the fellow man or for yourself. It was all nonchalant attitudes towards the heroes of the the past, present and future. It was disrespect towards all of them.

Achilles took a deep breath in a calming manner, counting in his head to ten before he stepped aside with her to walk to the nearest sit down. He apologized to Polyxena for being so stiff, but he didn't realize that something else would trigger his PTSD. It wasn't the children from the memorial, but the drop of a coffee pot that slammed against the concrete floor. It sent of a ricochet of sounds that made him jump. As many times as he'd been in film, directing, in the spotlight, things still set him off from the simplest of sounds.

HIs heart pounded in his chest, an explosion inside his head going on and his calm temperament turned vicious. When the server who had been behind him was in his line of sight he stood abruptly and grabbed the man by the arm. Hard. He didn't say anything but he couldn't get his heart beat to come back down to a level beat.