(no subject)

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

WHO: Lewis Caroll and Piper Addison
WHAT: Late night cuties
WHEN: Fuckin'...Saturday?
WHERE: Their place
WARNINGS: TBA depending! Talk of nightmares concerning sexual assault and violence. Also I swore in the description WHICH IS A GREAT SIGN, RIGHT?



Cold hands grabbed at him from the dark as he tried to scramble away, only to jerk awake, his skin slick with sweat. Disentangling his legs from the red sheets, he kicked all the blankets off of him. Claustrophobia had set in, and he didn't want anything covering him or making him feel confined. With a flick of the bedside lamp, light filled his room, chasing shadows from the corners.

His lungs filled with air and expelled it with deliberate effort in an attempt to slow his heartbeat and calm his panic. It still pounded a frantic tattoo inside his chest as he pulled himself up into a sitting position. He was safe in his room at the end of the hall. Two wonderful women lived here in his warm apartment as well, breaking centuries of solitude and loneliness. Those desperate hands could not reach through time or his dreams to hurt him now. The man they belonged to was long dead. He had rotted in the ground, leaving nothing but bones and bad memories behind.

He dragged his fingers through his hair and, leaning back, his head gently met the wall behind it. He could give into despair, or refuse to let those nightmares plague him in his waking life.

The book on his nightstand was creased and tattered with age, and it rustled as he picked it up. It was a compendium of myths and legends collected by an editor no one remembered, and he had read it in his childhood. The written word had a way of comforting him that very little else in the world could, and this book had seen him through many a dark time. Well worn pages shuffled as he found his place, and began to read. Light from his lamp streamed under his door, a signal to all in the hallway that he was awake.

Comments

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

Piper wasn't having much better luck at sleeping. She'd managed to leave the house with Charles' and Lena's help, and a few more times since then, but that didn't mean she didn't have nightmares about that night.

Her blanket was tangled around her legs when she woke up, and she pulled it off as she sat up, glancing at the clock on her bedside table. Way too early to be awake, and pitch-dark to boot. She sighed and pushed her tangled hair out of her face, twisting it up into a loose bun.

She really wanted some tea, the temperature be damned. She pulled on a light robe over her cami and shorts, and headed down the hallway to the kitchen. She saw Charles' light was on, and made a mental note to make some for him too.

The ritual of making the tea helped calm her down, and by the time she was gathering up the mugs, she felt a bit better. She retraced her steps down the hallway, knocking softly on Charles' door. "Charles?" she called softly. "You awake? I have tea."

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

His book was immediately returned to it's spot on the bedside table when Charles heard Piper through the door. Just the sound of her voice twisted his stomach in knots. Good knots.

It was a short trip from his bed to the door, which he pulled open quickly, a smile affixed to his face. "Do you want to come in, or shall I come out?" he asked, not wanting to make her feel like she had to come hang out on his bed with him.

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

"I'll come in, if you don't mind?" she replied. She held up her offering of tea. "Couldn't sleep either?" she asked. "Seems to be going around tonight."

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

"Of course I don't." The tea was gratefully taken and he sipped it as he returned to his spot on his bed. "Nightmares," he admitted, his voice low. Piper remained the only person in the entire world he had actually spoken of that dark time at Rugby School with. It was with a pleased sense of security that he knew she would understand. "You?"

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

Piper took a spot on the corner of the bed, crossing her legs underneath herself. "Oh, sweetie," she said. "I'm sorry." She'd felt humbled when Charles had chosen to share his past with her, and she'd never told another soul.

"Same," she said, wrapping her hands around her mug, as though trying to draw out all of its warmth into herself. "There's always more blood than there actually was, whenever I have this particular one."

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

"Imaginations are lofty things, occasionally our saviour and more often our tormentor," he mumbled, mostly to himself. "Sorry." He sipped at his tea, glad Piper actually knew how to make a decent cup of it. It was rare in America, though he was fairly sure it was because she wasn't American.

"I'm sorry your memories are plaguing you as well. I'm glad you came to see me. That always makes me smile."

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

"Well said," she murmured into her tea. "Don't worry about it, you're not wrong."

"Figured if we weren't going to sleep, we could be awake in the middle of the night together," she replied, smiling at him over her mug. "It's better than laying in the dark by myself."

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

It really was better than lying around by himself, though he held back a slight innuendo. Just the thought of it made the tips of his ears colour and he cleared his throat before taking another sip of tea.

"I agree," he finally said, trying to calm himself. "I've been on my own for a long time. When there's no one else there, it's hard to stop thinking about the horrible memories."

Charles, you can stop making me want to hug you any time...

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

"It's the price we pay for being alone," Piper said softly. "And our minds love to replay all of the worst moments of our lives, I've found. Which, I'd be really grateful if they'd stop that, thanks."

HE CAN'T HELP IT

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

"I would be too, in both our cases." He smiled warmly at her, the expression soft and gentle. The shape and symmetry of her face was irresistible to him. The way her eyes wrinkled when she smiled, the curve of her lip when he did something slightly awkward that amused her. He could watch that face forever.

Shifting his mug to one hand, he reached out to wrap his arm around her shoulders. The warmth of her body was alluring, even with a heatwave going on around them.

SO ADORABLE

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

Piper juggled her mug so she wouldn't drop it, nestling her head against his shoulder. The world felt very small, like it was just the two of them, them and the stars she could see through the window.

"I probably don't say it often enough, but I'm really glad I met you," she told him.

LITTLE MUFFIN CUTIES

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

His face split into a grin and he turned to plant a kiss on her forehead. "I've been glad every day that I met you too," he said honestly. "I've been alive a long time and there's never really been anyone like you."

MY HEART FEELS LIKE IT'S MADE OF SPARKLES AND ICE CREAM

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

Piper just smiled, turning her face further into his neck. "Mum always said I was unique," she said. "Never thought it'd turn out to work out so well for me."

AS IT SHOULD!

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

Charles finished his tea and stowed the cup on the floor before turning back to her. "She was absolutely right. And I would rather like to kiss you. Would that be okay?"

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

"She usually is," Piper agreed, depositing her cup on the floor next to his. "And that is always OK, I'd like that too."

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

It had been centuries since Charles was the playboy he used to be. He felt rusty and awkward these days when it came to anything romantic. Too many years in isolation, horrified at what belief had made of him.

Piper, however, knew everything. She ignored the lies and she knew the secrets. As awkward and rusty as he might be, she made him want to try.

He lifted a hand to brush her cheek before leaning in to kiss her gently. There was passion there, coiled deep in his belly, but he didn't want to get too carried away, nor did he want to push her. So he held himself back and kept the kiss soft.

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

Piper's eyes fell shut, one hand coming to rest on the back of his neck, her fingers tangled in his hair. Kissing Charles felt right to her, like this was where she was supposed to be. And trust her on this one, she was really happy to be there.

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

When her hand slipped into his hair, he took it as a signal and he pulled her more closely. His own hands slid slowly up her back and when he finally stopped kissing her, he didn't pull back. He leaned his forehead against hers and breathed out slowly to calm himself down.

Without realising it, he had started trembling, but certainly not from fear. He wanted so badly to tell her how much he wanted her, but he was afraid.

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

Oh, this was good. Piper made a contented sound into his mouth, the warmth she was feeling having nothing to do with the temperature outside.

"Charles?" she whispered, her voice cracking in the middle of his name. "Are you alright? God, you're shaking." She ran one hand over his back.

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

He was shaking because he wanted to press her into the mattress and do many things his family would surely block from publication, had they the opportunity these days.

A soft whine escaped his mouth and his cheeks flushed red and he wished he could just tell her what he was so afraid of. Instead, he leaned in to nuzzle her softly. "I'm alright," he assured her. "You're so beautiful."

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

"Are you sure-Oh," she cut herself off. She started to run her fingers through his hair again. "Talk to me, Charles," she said. "I can hear your brain whirring into overdrive."

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

He breathed out against her skin, trying to keep his breath steady. Her fingers in his hair caused a shiver to run up his spine. He squeezed his eyes closed and nuzzled against her again.

Maybe he could just kiss her for awhile and then take a cold shower like he usually did. It would be easy and safe, but it wasn't what he wanted.

In the end, the only words he managed to get out were barely audible. "I'm afraid."

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

She wasn't sure when she'd started scritching his scalp with her nails, but he hadn't said anything about it yet. "Oh, sweetheart," she said softly. "Why? You don't have to be afraid." She laid a kiss on the top of his head.

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

Of all the people he had been with since his death, none of them had cared enough about him to ask something like this. He leaned in to kiss her again, because she was amazing. "I'm afraid to say what I want," he finally managed to articulate.

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

She hung onto him as they kissed, feeling slightly adrift. And her heart broke a little when he finally spoke again. "You know that there's almost nothing you could say that would drive me away, right?" she asked. "I wouldn't be here with you right now if I wasn't 100% sure that this was where I wanted to be."

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

This is what time and belief had made of him. So many people clung to the idea that he desired children despite the lack of any evidence. The idea that he was some kind of predator had made him withdraw from so much. And despite the great leaps forward he had made in a year and change, it was still hard to shake the thought that everyone believed deep down, that he was some sick and twisted individual who might do to others, the very thing that had been done to him.

Absolutely never.

But it was so hard to see his desire for Piper as anything but unwholesome and dark, even though it wasn't. She was mortal and far younger than he was. He had to shake the thought that that was what drew him to her, when really it was her heart and her mind. It was what kept him awake and night, and what clouded his thoughts during the day.

"I know," he said softly. "Or I mostly do. I want...more. And that scares me."

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

Piper had read a book or two about Charles during her time at university, before she'd ever met him. Most of the 'research', if it could even be called that, was shaky at best, and she'd walked away with only a vague idea of who Lewis Carroll might have been.

But that had all changed once he'd walked into her life, given her a job and opened his home to her. This man, he was wonderful and kind and generous. He was funny and smart and so good, she couldn't believe that people had ever thought those terrible things about him. It truly boggled her mind sometimes.

"Charles," she said, taking his hand. "I don't want you to do anything you don't feel comfortable with. If you want to wait, I can wait. I'm not going anywhere. You know that, right?"

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

He swallowed roughly, torn between giving in to his fear and running away, and staying with her so he could have what he really wanted.

In the end, he realised he was thinking entirely too much about himself. "What do you want?" he asked, his voice a little shaky. As he waited for an answer he traced patterns idly on her hip with his hand.

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

She started to reply, but her breath hitched as his fingers traced over her hip. She swallowed hard and tried again.

"You," she said honestly. "I just want you."

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

Her admission caused a slight sound of lust to escape his throat, but he kept himself under control, at least for the moment. "I want you too," he admitted, because it didn't seem so dark and twisty if she had said it first. "I want you so much I'm shaking. I just don't want to hurt you."

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

"Charles, believe me, I would tell you if you hurt me," she replied. "I just didn't want to say anything before because I didn't want to seem like I was pushing you into anything. Also because I am hopelessly awkward."

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

He laughed a little then, self-deprecating. "I didn't want you to think I was pushing you into anything." He shook his head and then he leaned in to kiss her cheek. "But it seems like we agree on something."

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

"Then I'm really glad we had this talk, in any case," she said, squeezing his hand. "At least we know where we stand now. Can only go up from here, hmm?"

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

That was what he hoped. "I believe so, yes. With that in mind, I'm going to kiss you again." He pulled her towards him and he kissed her more deeply than he ever had, one hand twining into her hair, and the other on the small of her back.

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

"Oh goo-" For the second time tonight, she got cut off, not that she minded in the slightest. The rest of the words died in her throat, replaced by a very pleased humming sound. It made her feel good all the way down to her toes, which, she dimly registered, were curled into the carpet. She might have laughed if she hadn't been otherwise occupied.

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

He supposed if she trusted him enough not to hurt her, he would have to trust that she would stop him if he did anything she didn't want him to do. He just wanted so badly for her to feel safe.

Doubts faded away as he kissed her more deeply and then moved to kiss down her neck to her shoulder. Tracing her skin just made him want more.

Oh, wow. That-that is a good icon.

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

Even if she didn't say so out loud, she did feel safe. Piper never slept with anyone that she didn't at least have an acquaintance with, she liked to know the person first. It helped her to feel more comfortable.

She let out a soft gasp as he kissed his way down her neck. It felt like every nerve ending had woken up at once, and they were all clamoring to be felt; sensory overload, but in a good way.

I KNOW, RIGHT? UNF.

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

Charles peppered her neck with kisses while he ran a hand up her side to her shoulder. What he wanted to do was rip all of her clothes off immediately, but there was something to be said about enjoying a moment. So instead he pushed her robe off of her shoulder and then he ran his tongue along her collarbone.

Let's do the time jump agaaaaaaaain

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

It took more than a few moments for Piper's brain to come out of its endorphin fog, and once it had, she still didn't feel like very much like moving. Her face was flushed and her hair was all over the place, but she couldn't really bring herself to care.

"Bloody hell," she finally said. "I didn't even know that spot under my right ear existed. Damn."

YEAH!

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

Charles turned his head to look at her and he chuckled breathily. He wasn't entirely sure he could move much at all, actually. "Mmmhmm," he agreed. It had been a damn long time since he had been with anyone, but wow had it been worth the wait.

"You're amazing. Wonderful. Gorgeous. I don't know where my underwear are."

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

That made her smile, and she managed to prop herself up on one elbow. "You say the nicest things," she said, leaning down to kiss him.

"I think I threw them...somewhere that way," Piper said vaguely, gesturing at one section of the room that pretty much made up half of it. "You'll probably find them in the morning."

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

He chuckled again, grinning at her. It felt just slightly strange to be flung across his bed, naked, with someone else in it, but the good kind of strange. And as long as Piper didn't mind, he didn't.

"Do you want to sleep in here?" he asked, reaching out to rub her arm.

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

"If you're OK with that," she said around a yawn. "Considering I'm not exactly sure where my shirt went, either. I think I saw it depart into a corner, but I'm not up for moving right now."

[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

"I would love it if you would stay," he said gently, the grin on his face refusing to fade. He felt amazing and relaxed. "It would make me happy." There was probably very little chance of nightmares now, and the company would be wonderful.

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

"Then of course I will," she replied, raising her arms in a full body stretch, before curling back up next to him. This wasn't exactly where she thought she'd end up after waking from her own nightmare, but she certainly wasn't going to complain.