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[twas--brillig.insanejournal.com]

WHO: Lewis Caroll and Piper Addison
WHAT: Late night cuties
WHEN: Fuckin'...Saturday?
WHERE: Their place
WARNINGS: TBA depending! Talk of nightmares concerning sexual assault and violence. Also I swore in the description WHICH IS A GREAT SIGN, RIGHT?



Cold hands grabbed at him from the dark as he tried to scramble away, only to jerk awake, his skin slick with sweat. Disentangling his legs from the red sheets, he kicked all the blankets off of him. Claustrophobia had set in, and he didn't want anything covering him or making him feel confined. With a flick of the bedside lamp, light filled his room, chasing shadows from the corners.

His lungs filled with air and expelled it with deliberate effort in an attempt to slow his heartbeat and calm his panic. It still pounded a frantic tattoo inside his chest as he pulled himself up into a sitting position. He was safe in his room at the end of the hall. Two wonderful women lived here in his warm apartment as well, breaking centuries of solitude and loneliness. Those desperate hands could not reach through time or his dreams to hurt him now. The man they belonged to was long dead. He had rotted in the ground, leaving nothing but bones and bad memories behind.

He dragged his fingers through his hair and, leaning back, his head gently met the wall behind it. He could give into despair, or refuse to let those nightmares plague him in his waking life.

The book on his nightstand was creased and tattered with age, and it rustled as he picked it up. It was a compendium of myths and legends collected by an editor no one remembered, and he had read it in his childhood. The written word had a way of comforting him that very little else in the world could, and this book had seen him through many a dark time. Well worn pages shuffled as he found his place, and began to read. Light from his lamp streamed under his door, a signal to all in the hallway that he was awake.

Comments

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

Oh, this was good. Piper made a contented sound into his mouth, the warmth she was feeling having nothing to do with the temperature outside.

"Charles?" she whispered, her voice cracking in the middle of his name. "Are you alright? God, you're shaking." She ran one hand over his back.

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He was shaking because he wanted to press her into the mattress and do many things his family would surely block from publication, had they the opportunity these days.

A soft whine escaped his mouth and his cheeks flushed red and he wished he could just tell her what he was so afraid of. Instead, he leaned in to nuzzle her softly. "I'm alright," he assured her. "You're so beautiful."

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"Are you sure-Oh," she cut herself off. She started to run her fingers through his hair again. "Talk to me, Charles," she said. "I can hear your brain whirring into overdrive."

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He breathed out against her skin, trying to keep his breath steady. Her fingers in his hair caused a shiver to run up his spine. He squeezed his eyes closed and nuzzled against her again.

Maybe he could just kiss her for awhile and then take a cold shower like he usually did. It would be easy and safe, but it wasn't what he wanted.

In the end, the only words he managed to get out were barely audible. "I'm afraid."

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She wasn't sure when she'd started scritching his scalp with her nails, but he hadn't said anything about it yet. "Oh, sweetheart," she said softly. "Why? You don't have to be afraid." She laid a kiss on the top of his head.

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Of all the people he had been with since his death, none of them had cared enough about him to ask something like this. He leaned in to kiss her again, because she was amazing. "I'm afraid to say what I want," he finally managed to articulate.

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She hung onto him as they kissed, feeling slightly adrift. And her heart broke a little when he finally spoke again. "You know that there's almost nothing you could say that would drive me away, right?" she asked. "I wouldn't be here with you right now if I wasn't 100% sure that this was where I wanted to be."

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This is what time and belief had made of him. So many people clung to the idea that he desired children despite the lack of any evidence. The idea that he was some kind of predator had made him withdraw from so much. And despite the great leaps forward he had made in a year and change, it was still hard to shake the thought that everyone believed deep down, that he was some sick and twisted individual who might do to others, the very thing that had been done to him.

Absolutely never.

But it was so hard to see his desire for Piper as anything but unwholesome and dark, even though it wasn't. She was mortal and far younger than he was. He had to shake the thought that that was what drew him to her, when really it was her heart and her mind. It was what kept him awake and night, and what clouded his thoughts during the day.

"I know," he said softly. "Or I mostly do. I want...more. And that scares me."

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Piper had read a book or two about Charles during her time at university, before she'd ever met him. Most of the 'research', if it could even be called that, was shaky at best, and she'd walked away with only a vague idea of who Lewis Carroll might have been.

But that had all changed once he'd walked into her life, given her a job and opened his home to her. This man, he was wonderful and kind and generous. He was funny and smart and so good, she couldn't believe that people had ever thought those terrible things about him. It truly boggled her mind sometimes.

"Charles," she said, taking his hand. "I don't want you to do anything you don't feel comfortable with. If you want to wait, I can wait. I'm not going anywhere. You know that, right?"

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He swallowed roughly, torn between giving in to his fear and running away, and staying with her so he could have what he really wanted.

In the end, he realised he was thinking entirely too much about himself. "What do you want?" he asked, his voice a little shaky. As he waited for an answer he traced patterns idly on her hip with his hand.

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She started to reply, but her breath hitched as his fingers traced over her hip. She swallowed hard and tried again.

"You," she said honestly. "I just want you."

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Her admission caused a slight sound of lust to escape his throat, but he kept himself under control, at least for the moment. "I want you too," he admitted, because it didn't seem so dark and twisty if she had said it first. "I want you so much I'm shaking. I just don't want to hurt you."

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"Charles, believe me, I would tell you if you hurt me," she replied. "I just didn't want to say anything before because I didn't want to seem like I was pushing you into anything. Also because I am hopelessly awkward."

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He laughed a little then, self-deprecating. "I didn't want you to think I was pushing you into anything." He shook his head and then he leaned in to kiss her cheek. "But it seems like we agree on something."

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"Then I'm really glad we had this talk, in any case," she said, squeezing his hand. "At least we know where we stand now. Can only go up from here, hmm?"

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That was what he hoped. "I believe so, yes. With that in mind, I'm going to kiss you again." He pulled her towards him and he kissed her more deeply than he ever had, one hand twining into her hair, and the other on the small of her back.

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"Oh goo-" For the second time tonight, she got cut off, not that she minded in the slightest. The rest of the words died in her throat, replaced by a very pleased humming sound. It made her feel good all the way down to her toes, which, she dimly registered, were curled into the carpet. She might have laughed if she hadn't been otherwise occupied.

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He supposed if she trusted him enough not to hurt her, he would have to trust that she would stop him if he did anything she didn't want him to do. He just wanted so badly for her to feel safe.

Doubts faded away as he kissed her more deeply and then moved to kiss down her neck to her shoulder. Tracing her skin just made him want more.

Oh, wow. That-that is a good icon.

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Even if she didn't say so out loud, she did feel safe. Piper never slept with anyone that she didn't at least have an acquaintance with, she liked to know the person first. It helped her to feel more comfortable.

She let out a soft gasp as he kissed his way down her neck. It felt like every nerve ending had woken up at once, and they were all clamoring to be felt; sensory overload, but in a good way.

I KNOW, RIGHT? UNF.

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Charles peppered her neck with kisses while he ran a hand up her side to her shoulder. What he wanted to do was rip all of her clothes off immediately, but there was something to be said about enjoying a moment. So instead he pushed her robe off of her shoulder and then he ran his tongue along her collarbone.

Let's do the time jump agaaaaaaaain

[makemywayhome.insanejournal.com]

It took more than a few moments for Piper's brain to come out of its endorphin fog, and once it had, she still didn't feel like very much like moving. Her face was flushed and her hair was all over the place, but she couldn't really bring herself to care.

"Bloody hell," she finally said. "I didn't even know that spot under my right ear existed. Damn."

YEAH!

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Charles turned his head to look at her and he chuckled breathily. He wasn't entirely sure he could move much at all, actually. "Mmmhmm," he agreed. It had been a damn long time since he had been with anyone, but wow had it been worth the wait.

"You're amazing. Wonderful. Gorgeous. I don't know where my underwear are."

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That made her smile, and she managed to prop herself up on one elbow. "You say the nicest things," she said, leaning down to kiss him.

"I think I threw them...somewhere that way," Piper said vaguely, gesturing at one section of the room that pretty much made up half of it. "You'll probably find them in the morning."

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He chuckled again, grinning at her. It felt just slightly strange to be flung across his bed, naked, with someone else in it, but the good kind of strange. And as long as Piper didn't mind, he didn't.

"Do you want to sleep in here?" he asked, reaching out to rub her arm.

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"If you're OK with that," she said around a yawn. "Considering I'm not exactly sure where my shirt went, either. I think I saw it depart into a corner, but I'm not up for moving right now."

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"I would love it if you would stay," he said gently, the grin on his face refusing to fade. He felt amazing and relaxed. "It would make me happy." There was probably very little chance of nightmares now, and the company would be wonderful.

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"Then of course I will," she replied, raising her arms in a full body stretch, before curling back up next to him. This wasn't exactly where she thought she'd end up after waking from her own nightmare, but she certainly wasn't going to complain.