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[shades-of-fate.insanejournal.com]

Who: Victor and Kat
What: Everything is a bit suck at the moment
When: Tuesday
Where: Victor's Place
Warnings: TBD


If honest with herself, Kat was starting to think of Victor's place as 'home'. A safe place, where everything bad could be shut out and she didn't have to think. She kept it to herself for now though. When he picked her up she'd just smiled and climbed into the car. She'd been quiet most of the ride, staring out at the city and hating how utterly normal it looked.

Somewhere out there something so evil had a friend of hers in it's claws, and people were still busy yelling at traffic. It felt horribly unfair. She wanted to yell at them, but didn't. Instead she played with a bracelet on her wrist and was quiet. When they arrived she walked into his home and put up her coat. It all felt mechanical. She wondered if any of it mattered.

She found herself on the couch with the desire to cry, but didn't. She'd cried more then enough over the past few days. Between the nightmares and that, she just felt tired. "I really want to run away." She finally gave. She toyed her fingers over her jeans. "And it feels like it wouldn't matter. Like nothing matters."

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[sciomachy.insanejournal.com]

Victor had spent time with Thomas the previous day and he had watched his friend panic over the safety of his girlfriend. It made Victor so very thankful that Kat was safe. He went to sit next to her on the sofa, pulling her close because she was tangible and there.

He had lost so many people he loved. Kat was still with him. He closed his eyes and kissed her shoulder. "I've felt that way too," he admitted. "But of course we matter."

[shades-of-fate.insanejournal.com]

"Sometimes, I really don't think that." She closed her eyes as she leaned into him. Lena was somewhere dangerous, and what was worse she kept being afraid it would happen to Victor or her sisters. Then she felt selfish because it wasn't.

She gave a shaky breath and set her arm around him, just so she had proof he was there. "I feel like screaming. Or crying. Preferably both. And everything's still so normal. I'm supposed to go to finals, because people feel that's important. It really doesn't. I can't sit there and pretend everything's fine. Like I shouldn't be worried about you or my sisters." She sighed. "I don't know what to do."

[sciomachy.insanejournal.com]

Victor kissed her hair, quite content to hold her close. He wished he could do something for Thomas, but the truth was that he was powerless. What he could do, was be there for his girlfriend.

"Your finals are important because you have goals you want to achieve and those do matter," he assured her. "Though screaming and crying are legitimate too. I can't say I'm not worried about you all the time either. We just...have to keep living." He wasn't sure if that was helpful or not.

[shades-of-fate.insanejournal.com]

She curled as close as she could. She didn't want to take her anger out on him. It wouldn't be fair and he was as helpless as she was in this instance. There was nothing they could do.

She wondered how immortals could deal with that, and it wasn't the first time she was glad she wasn't one of those. "It sounds like the worst thing. I don't even know how." She set her head on his shoulder, "not that I want to stop," she assured. She felt hopeless, not like there wasn't an exit.

"I just wish I knew what to do. I feel tired and really worn out."

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"I feel the same," he acknowledged. "I'm used to helping people and I just...can't. I've never been in a position like this before. It's honestly...beyond my comprehension."

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She lets her arm cling just a bit tighter to that. "I think that's the scariest bit of all. That I can't understand." She gave a shaky sigh and curled her fingers in his shirt. "Please don't go anywhere." It was just a whisper and she knew it was a weird thing o say, but she still wanted to say it.

[sciomachy.insanejournal.com]

"I would really prefer I didn't go anywhere either," he said. Being held hostage by humans had been bad enough. "I could say the same to you." If Kat was taken, however, Victor was pretty sure Hermes would move heaven and Earth to get her back.

[shades-of-fate.insanejournal.com]

The possibility was there. If not this being, anyone Hermes had pissed off. Her extended family was almost always a constant worry. "More then that." She wasn't too sure what exactly she meant though. She just worried.

[sciomachy.insanejournal.com]

Victor wasn't sure what she meant by that. He kissed her again and turned so he could look at her. "What do you mean?"

[shades-of-fate.insanejournal.com]

"I don't know." She shook her head and sighed. "Maybe I'm just clinging too hard. I'm just afraid I'll do or say something, or something will happen, and you won't be here. I feel like you're the only thing that makes sense, and I don't want to lose it. One way or the other."

Sighing she ran her hands over her eyes, "I don't know. I'm worried about so many things, and so many of those don't make sense or they're the wrong things to worry about." she set her arms on her legs and leaned her head in her hands. "Just grasping at straws."

[sciomachy.insanejournal.com]

"If you're worried, then they're not the wrong things to worry about. You can't help how you feel," he assured her. "And I can also promise I'm not go anywhere if it's my choice. I love you. Do you want to tell me what you're worried about?"

[shades-of-fate.insanejournal.com]

She shrugged. "Everything." She wished she could have more of his calm. She envied him for that. She looked at him from under her hands. "And I'm not saying that to be difficult or anything. I worry about you, me, us, Thomas, Jamie." She ran her hands through her hair. "And Jamie doesn't know and he's going to have to find out. In the worst possible way."

She sighed, "and I very much understand why people drink right now because getting blindingly drunk sounds awesome right now. But it won't change anything. And I just keep wondering how immortals deal with all this? I'm constantly afraid and worried. How do they turn all that off?"

[sciomachy.insanejournal.com]

"You're not difficult," he was quick to assure her. "Does anything help with the worry? Does anything make it less?" If she was worrying all the time, that wasn't really something they could move past. If it was constant and not just because Lena had been taken, they might need to address it.

[shades-of-fate.insanejournal.com]

She shrugged, then bit her lip. She wondered if she was too co-dependent. "I don't think about it, or I'm with you." She looked to her hands. "It's not like I spend every moment worried. I did that once. It wasn't fun. I couldn't do anything. I was just stuck inside worry and panic. I'm pretty sure my folks were going to make me see a doctor. But there's no one to talk to. I can't tell people I'm worried about immortals fucking up lives because they can."

She sighed, "my family isn't exactly nice. I worry someone will go after Cordy and Miranda and me because my grandfather pissed them off. I worry about you for the same reason. I worry he'll try and be helpful in his own way. But not all the time.Now it just all comes crashing down because the possibility is very real. And when faced with that, I worry." She looked at him, "is that bad? Is that something I ought to change?"

[sciomachy.insanejournal.com]

"No, love, of course not." He gave her a gentle squeeze. "I was just concerned because if you were worried all the time, it could get difficult to do anything else. And if that was the case maybe looking into anti-anxiety medication could be an option. Though no one could ever tell you they aren't legitimate things to worry about. Of course they are. It's just important to find a balance."

He turned to face her. "I always feel better when I'm with you too, if that means anything."

[shades-of-fate.insanejournal.com]

She smiled at that and raised a bracelet, "a bit cheaper then medication, and surprisingly effective. Even if it's a placebo. Hecate made it." she shrugged, "but if that was the case I would look into medication. Things like the bracelet aren't exactly bandaids. Just aids. And I try to. Just hard right now."

She set her hand on his cheek and smiled again. "Means more then you know." She dropped her hand. "Can I stay?"

[sciomachy.insanejournal.com]

"I think everything is hard right now," he said sadly.

"Please do stay. The company will do me good as well. Are you hungry at all?"

[shades-of-fate.insanejournal.com]

She paused, wondering when she'd last eaten something decent. A while, if the faint grumbling from her stomach said anything. "Yeah. I should eat." Stress made her forget quite a bit. It was probably not a good thing.

[sciomachy.insanejournal.com]

"I'll make something for both of us. I've been quite distracted and grazing instead of actually eating." He leaned in to kiss her first, however. "Then I can try to be distracting if you'd like."

[shades-of-fate.insanejournal.com]

She smiled to the kiss. He was so wonderful. She really wished she could repay him for all that. "I'll take distractions." With a long breath she rose. "I'll help with food."

[sciomachy.insanejournal.com]

"We can be terribly domestic," he smiled at her. When he stood, he offered her a hand up. "I could show you embarrassing teenage photos if you want. Or you could kick my pixelated ass at a video game."

[shades-of-fate.insanejournal.com]

She took his hand and used it to get close so she could set her arms around him. "I just hope you know you're wonderful." she smiled up at him. "Always are. And anything. And right now you'd be kicking my ass. Too distracted. But I'll take embarrassing pictures."

[sciomachy.insanejournal.com]

Victor was pleasantly surprised by the embrace, but he as quite happy to wrap his arms around her as well. "I know I love you," he said because he was a bit too humble to agree with her telling him how wonderful he was. "Embarrassing photos it is. I have some doozies."

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"Great," she released him before remembering. She'd had so much on her mind recently. "I told my folks I'd drag you over. I may have inadvertently suggested for you to have a cooking battle with my father. He really wants to do the dad speech. I think with three girls, it's one of his great joys." She smiled again, "but no rush. Whenever. I'm sure they'll be willing to repay you in embarrassing teenage pictures."

[sciomachy.insanejournal.com]

Victor had already met Erica, but he hadn't yet met Kat's father. "I would love to do that," he said honestly. Family was important to him and he knew it was to her as well. "I'll be aware of the dad speech though I can hardly blame him."